What she asked you about the first day of spring is a very normal thing. Maybe she said it to show you that she regards you as a regular human being and not some awful, horrible creature like you are feeling right now. Maybe it was meant to reassure you that she will regard you no differently after what you told her. That it made no difference - you are granite, not your mother!!

It was such a brave thing you did and of course there's going to be a rebound effect. It's to be expected. You are hurting, and therapy is working. I hope you can hang in there and work through all this, I hope with your old T and if that's not possible with a new one. But you are making such good progress I hope you can get past this.

Give your T a chance to show you that these feelings you have are not from her, but in your head. See her in person and listen to what she says instead of projecting your own thoughts onto her. She cares about you, and so do a lot of other people. A bunch of them are here at PC!

Hugs and blessings