Here I go again, I'm on the fast track to "Idontgiveadarnsville'. My house is wreck (it almost looking like the conditions I was raised in) and it makes me soooo angry. I know this makes me angry but I just 'can't' do anything or, better yet, I feel like each time I do 'tighten' something up, people just go right behind and destroy all of my work. I've never lived this close to my mother and I feel like I'm becoming her and I'm letting it happen.

Thank goodness I see the T tomorrow, maybe she'll give me some focus.

(I fibbed again, btw - it's hard to stop I guess. There is something, rather someone, I feel a deep love for but broke off the relationship. I saw him last night. I didn't tell my mother where I went and I'm considering giving him a second chance. If I were to give him a second chance, I'm just extremely conserned that people close to me will look down on me for that choice.