Hmmm.

I understand this more than you know. I grew up with a mother who was diagnosed (based on one encounter with a court-appointed psychologist) as bipolar. She never got treatment because "they" were crazy, not her. I now suspect she also had BPD. From what the rest of my family tells me, she had all of the classic traits. If I start going into what I experienced with my mother, this will become a book with chapters so I'll try to keep it short. My mother abandoned me when I was 15 (to put it bluntly and keep it brief). She gave up her parental rights but would randomly send letters that increasingly made no sense. And in my twenties, when I was living with my aunt, she sent long, rambling letters to my uncle about how my aunt was poisoning my mind against her and brainwashing me (never mind the fact that she'd abandoned me years prior). To this day, she still sends my uncle letters and gifts for him to send to me. She sends them to him because I've explicitly asked them not to give out my contact information. She is so out of touch I'm not comfortable with her knowing where I am. Her letters are very religious and talk about things I'm supposed to remember that happened between us. Who knows if they actually did happen, because they are not things that make sense to me. The gifts are things like those address labels you get from charities and things like that--she has no money. I have asked my uncle not to forward them to me but, as usual, they stick up for her and ignore me. (I don't have much contact with my family right now. Really none at all.)

Anyway, I don't know how much that feedback helped except to say that I understand. I am kind of in the same boat, and it's frustrating. I do my best to ignore what my mom sends and to file it into my brain under, "She's unwell. It isn't personal. She needs help that she has refused to get. I cannot internalize this." I can't say that it doesn't bother me, but it bothers me less if I think of it in these terms.