I have seen my pdoc and t over the past two days, and for some reason, I cant verbalize my real needs. My pdoc increased my zoloft-the drug I tried to decrease a couple of weeks ago-because I think she was reading my analysis as anxiety.

My t mentioned hypomania, but she doesn't know me well enough yet to read my moods. Meanwhile, she talks to me on a level that is normal talk therapy, when I am about to jump out of my skin. I need for her to ask the right questions, but I can't figure out how to tell her what these are.

How do I get this straight? I hate taking drugs, but I must, so I would prefer to take the ones that will give me relief. Tonight my combination is wine and klonopin just to get relaxed enough to go to bed. Obviously this is not a good solution, but this is the only way I have settled myself for the past four nights. Tomorrow I will be revved up again. At least I have approximately six hours of sleep ahead that I have prescribed myself.

A side note-my son is getting really resentful about taking the drugs. What do I say? He is getting ready to turn thirteen in a couple of weeks and he is in for a lifetime of this mess.

I hate it for him the most, but I hate it for me, too.

Bluemountains