There are plenty of times when I can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just not sure if my depression is a chemical imbalance or circumstantial. I tend to believe it's more circumstantial.

Funny thing is that in my life I am blessed with so much. I have a job when jobs are hard to get, money in the bank, great health, no crisis in my life, and a good place to live (with the exception of the neighbors!). And yet I feel like when it comes to my social life, I am extremely cursed. It seems like nothing I can do can improve it in any way. I have friends, but they seem like they are far away. They are not close to me when I need them to be. But I don't have much in friends anyways. As far as love is concerned, forget it! It's just never going to happen! Also, my family is very small and there's hardly any good contacts with them.

Even though things are going very well for me other than socially, I very often think about 'what would I do if any of the good things going for me now disolve'? I obsess over that a great deal. Especially if my health were to go.