You said your so-called "friend" told you you wanted it because you were wet. This person is a potential rapist. He molested you, at the least. I don't care if were or weren't wet, or horny, or whatever. He didn't have the right to put his hands on you. He doesn't get to tell you what you want. You decide and you say yes or no. And no means no.

I'm going to tell you the truth, even though you won't like it. You're way too young to pursue a relationship with an older man, and still will be at 18. You're very naive and have a lot to learn about life, love and self-worth. You need to learn self-worth because you call yourself dumb and say negative things about yourself. You're not ready for life yet. I'm not saying love is all a fantasy and romance isn't real. But you're fantasizing it way beyond reality. You need to grow up, but you have plenty of time for that. Don't be in such a rush. Movies and books are fun, but they don't always depict life the way it really happens.