To me, what you describe sounds like an extremely intense depression, but I have no medical background to speak of so someone else might be able to tell you better.

I think you have to take baby steps, at whatever pace you feel comfortable with. The first step would be using the bathroom instead of the bottles and if you can manage that regularly for a few days, stay for a shower. It's never easy to pull yourself out of depression, and it takes SO much more work than people give it credit for.

In my experience if I can just take baby steps (my silly mantra that I use is "keep moving forward") they all add up and you will be so much happier in the end. NO situation is ever hopeless. I know it can seem that way, but it never is. Sometimes its painful and it takes untold amounts of effort just to brush your teeth, but you just have to keep moving forward... at your own pace.