Agree with Pern, although the other posts were extraordinarily generous and kind
and even evidence of proper respect for their capacity to love. Pern recognizes
that, unless we are capable of loving ourselves, it's really not possible to love others.

I suspect that what occurs in situations like that is that one has to present an
outer shell of love (which is false) and then that drives the self-hatred more.
I would do as Pern suggests, learn to love yourself so much that you are capable
of extending it to others.

I would imagine that there are very lonely and depressed states that accompany the
need to have an outer shell, however. Best idea is to work at getting rid of the self-hatred and learning what real love is all about. (It's the willingness to extend oneself for the benefit of others, for one thing.)

Take care.