I can relate to you. my first depression was when i was 16. those two years look really bad on my resume.then i completed my computer engineering with rank 2 in my class. i took admission into second best college in my country for masters in computer science. completed first year which i guess you know is toughest but in second year there was depression so i couldn't finish it. and now i am trying for MBA, just appeared for interview for 11th best b school in my country,day after tomorrow i have interview for 15th best b school. i am 26 so i have few years to spare.

i agree my bipolar isn't like yours it is 3 year depression followed by 5 years of mania. but honestly i don't know why aren't you trying meds. if you are as talented as you are saying i bet your brain is telling you that something is wrong with it. i think you can feel it. i have faced severe anxiety,locked myself in room,hated baths but then i ignored my huge ego i met pdoc. it was extremely hard for me. with my friend asking me i saw you in hospital blah blah blah. but i knew something was wrong and i took meds pdocs gave.

i know why you are against meds. i am currently not on any meds but i took meds to get stabilized. to recover from low and once i found that normal level, i am keeping it by taking at least 8 hours sleep,eating healthy,doing exercise. i think you should take lithium for at least 6 months. i know brain is the most precious thing in universe for us. i don't believe in god/religion/soul the only thing i believe in is my brain. there is no mind body problem for me its just body and i am against any drug that can alter my brain chemistry. trust is sound and color of death but i think we can trust modern medications little bit ,its not Chinese herbs or horn of unicorn i think months of meds wont hurt you.

these little steps that's how i do it too. do something however small it is. if you want to win war you need to win battles. doing brush daily its the start. and you keep on throwing these past achievement "failed out of 3 prestigious colleges(top 10)" they never matter. i was just few weeks ago answering question in b school interview. that dumb **** asked me question if i can complete my masters this time because our coursework is very tough,stressful. when i told him i want to do MBA in finance he asked me do i know statistics . these question are quiet insulting for me. if it was me two years ago sitting there i would have just told that professor "i dont really want admission in your stupid 11th rank college and you are asking me about tough coursework?" and i would have walked out. but you know bad times. its not my time yet. we have to prove ourselves every 6 months. it is said achieving success is easy keeping it is difficult. if you think getting into MIT is tough try getting out. take care.