Over the course of this weekend, I have managed to lose both the only friend I have in this crappy state, and my boyfriend. If I were to be totally honest, the friend really wasn't much of a friend, but I guess it gave me the illusion that someone actually cared, but if you care about someone, you don't rip them off for money that they desperately need. Especially when they are supporting a child and you aren't. I guess that's what I get for loaning money to someone when I really couldn't afford to, but I was trying to be nice. And once again, he turned it around on me and made it out like it was my fault he didn't have the money after 3 weeks. I wrote it off as a learning experience, and wrote him off in the process. Then I got in a big fight with my significant other, because as everyone on medication knows, half of the meds they give you have the side effect of killing your sex drive, so when he wanted to have sex, I wasn't in the mood. This led to a huge blowout, and he brought up things from years ago that had absolutely nothing to do with anything. And of course, in his mind, because I wasn't in the mood right then, that obviously meant that I am seeing someone else. To him, EVERY thing means I'm seeing someone else. I will admit, I'm not the best girlfriend, I don't call, I don't go to his house, because he has a habit of just showing up here at my house unannounced whenever he feels like it, and I have to drop whatever I'm doing and only pay attention to him. I'm an artist, I can't even sketch while I talk to him, or do my dishes or anything. Just sit there. And even though he is 50 something, he is always in the mood. Usually I go along with it to keep the peace, but sometimes I just don't feel like it. I didn't think that was a crime. Apparently it is. So he broke up with me. And after everything he brought up yesterday, I'm thinking maybe that's not such a bad thing, either. What kind of relationship do you have if the person doesn't trust you? And just because you're bipolar and have different moods? Apparently because of that, I'm cheating. What a crock. And he says he knows me so well. I said he doesn't know me at all, and that's obvious. Sad commentary on a 12 year relationship. I'm totally disgusted, and disillusioned. I'm better off alone.