Please get help from a doctor and T. I also know that you don't want to go down that path, but it seem to be that desprate, it may save your life at this point. The vitamin D is very important i also had a low level and when I find I'm forgetting them in the mornings, i realize i need to take them. Getting sun is important too, as that is where vitamin D comes from.Your low motivation could also be vitamin B12 defieiency , my son has to get vit b shots. Well I hope yu've read everyone's posts here because there is a lot of good advice for you right here, take care and have a joyful Easter.