Froggie, I believe you're on to something.... that when we were children, and a significant other (parent) got angry at us, they did not then bring us close to them for a good hug. They got angry and there was no act of rectification, not even words to tell us, 'you're ok; I love you no matter what'.
When I get angry at my kid, I feel the anger for a moment, take some deep breaths and let go of the anger. Sooner or later I smile to my kid, I give a much-needed hug and things are good again. I never got this from my own parents.
I never realized I lost out big time, by not getting any physical affection. I still don't realize the significance of it. I simply got used to living without it. Just as someone who cuts out carbs from the diet gets used to going without carbs. (Don't try it!)
It'a supposedly a sad state of affairs, but I don't even feel the sadness. Perhaps it is buried deep within my psyche and body. When I can access it I will have another loss to mourn.....