I really don't know if Im depressed or not.

It's all just happened so fast and I feel so lost in it. I've been talking to my mom and a lady on campus and they believe I'm getting better, but I think I might be getting worse.

I was really sick recently and in really bad shape. I still feel that I am, just not so much physically anymore.

I've been questioning wether this is the college that I should be at, wether this is the calling God has truly called me to. (I hope I don't offend anyone I go to a christian college and I thought God had called me to Childrens Ministry)

I just don't know anymore. I look around and I see the passion that everyone else has, and I feel so inadequate. I just want to go home.

I want to go to my room and stay in my bed. I see no future for me. What can I do? I would be of no help to anyone.

I wan't to drop out of college, but I can't becuase of my parents medical insurance. I have to be a full time student.

I think I might go home though next semester and do online courses. It'd be cheaper. And I wouldn't have to listen to stupid girls on the hall laughing. It just makes me cry.

I couldn't ever kill myself. Not becuase Im scared of dying or what God would think of me(he is a forgiving God). It is because I could never hurt my mom like that. I think that is the only thing that keeps me from ever hurting myself. But when Im in a car sometimes I wish, I just wish somethign would happen...