Hi, you are completely not alone here. I wrote my first "suicide" letter at 14. While writing it I cried to hard saying goodbye to everyone that I passed out on my bed. When I woke up, well it didn't seem as necessary. I had a collection of about 25 letters by the time I was 17. I even started writing them during classes. Obviously I got found out by doing it there, but I was so depressed I didn't care. They brought my parents in the whole thing and then we showed my therapist. She was like these are great we can use these. So we did.

To this day I still write when I'm devastated, it is a way for me to get all of those feelings, emotions, and fears out of my head and onto paper. I still cry most of the time while I am writing. I think it is cathartic for me because I always write to others still, almost as if I am talking to someone, all the things I need to get out so that I do not explode. I feel relief because I don't have to say it out loud, but it is still out. I don't necessarily feel better though, just usually wiped. But I take what I wrote and it helps me realize what I need to work on or tell someone about. It helps me pinpoint the true problem, it doesn't matter if it is something I can fix.

I think without writing these letters I would personally implode, and I think more people should be writing them.