ahhh thank you so much everyone. SHEZ,we tried to speak to the family but they say we are being ungrateful for "everything they have done for us". hubby is a bit angry with me at the moment (but it wont last long we always make up within a few hours) because i told his mom that i am going to start looking for another job and will be advertising my posotion from tuesday ( monday is a holiday). she compleatly freaked out at both of us, mostly at him. but im sure with time it will blow over. and NWgirl2013 you are so right we do have each other. LOVELACEF and PAYNE1 his dad has agreed to build a wall around our flat and make a seperate entrance for us we said that he did not relise that he was being so offencive. So we have got dads co operation, getting his mom and sister to back off a bit is something that is not going to happen but once we have a wall and a gate we can pretend not to be home (hehehe) thank you everyone