In the last month since February 2013 I have lost a good friend to suicide, my mental issues have come back rather strong I have anxiety, depression, sever social anxiety, bipolar, border line personality disorder, dyslexia and short memory lost since a child not very server tho I think, slight OCD, negative self image can't remember what "they" call that. I was in a car accident in the middle of march2013 nothing really serious whip lash and mussel damage and then a week or two after that my wife went away to see a friend and had an affair My wife and I meet 3.5 years ago, have been married for about 1.5 years. We have unprotected sex as we both got tested together after 2 weeks of meeting. She has just returned from her first trip to see a friend a few hundred miles away. She called me the day she was flying back and informed me that she had cheated on my with one guy and can't remember if they used protection she is pretty sure she did but can't remember, she stated she also gave him head without protection aswell, she stated that she was extremely drunk and can't figure why she did it, she said she was pretty sure she had told him about me, she also said that she was thinking about me the whole time but couldnt do anything to stop, she Also can't figure out why she couldn't stop just to give you the back story. This happened 5 days ago, I decided I want to try and work things out I've told her we can't do anything sexually and that because of the unprotected oral sex i cannot kiss her either till she gets a initial test so that i can give her a kiss.
I've been ok but this the other morning I broke down hence why I'm here now because all I want to do is hold her, give here a kiss and let her know it can and everything will be ok, be intimate but cannot because of her being unsure of if they used protection but I feel that intimacy is if not what we need to heal I need it to try and feel close to her, it doesn't need to be penetration even just a kiss and to hold each other.
Now my questions: Have i done the right thing in taking her back? I feel as tho I have. Have I done the right thing with not wanting to do anything intimate till her test come back? Not even kissing? Is there anything I / we can do to be intimate safely? What would /could be ok? Is there anything we should avoid or look out for ( symptoms )? Any help and/or insight at all would be so appreciated?