I had a horrible weekend. In the morning yesterday got into an argument with my partner. I kept my cool and said my piece and that was taken care of. Well, later in the day we got into another argument and that one escalated VERY quickly. I was getting very upset and shaking and I slammed the kitchen cupboard door. (When I get angry I have awful impulse control so I try to walk away and go in the other room if at all possible). I told her I was tired of us fighting like this and I needed her to be supportive of me in ways she wasn't being.

Let me say that she was against me going to therapy for 5-1/2 years. She is against medication. She thinks that the doctors make up stuff like bipolar, etc., and that they "lead" patients.

The argument just kept going on and I lost it. Before I knew picked up the sandwich buns and threw them in her direction. I told her I didn't want to fight like this, my nerves were shot and I couldn't handle this anymore. I told her the reason I was going to therapy and taking this new medication was to try and get a handle on things because if I could've fixed it myself by now I would've. I yelled at her that I was breaking up with her and this just wasn't worth it anymore.

Well later we both calmed down and I wanted to talk things out and she got upset again. She said she was tired of me being like this and I said I was too. She said we would get back together but the next time I lose my temper like that it's over and she's going to go out and date other people.

I have been crying on and off since yesterday. This morning I tried to explain to her that the doctor thinks I have bipolar. Well, she said, she doesn't believe in it, I just need to learn to control myself and that I keep myself down. I told her she wasn't a doctor and that if the doctor told me bark like a dog and that would help me get better I would. I told her again I needed her support. She said she can't agree with something (bipolar) that she doesn't think I have. I told her she has the right to handle her medical how she sees fit and so do I. She wanted to know what medical test proves that I have this because she doesn't believe it. She said doctors lead you into believing stuff.

I said maybe she would feel different if she talked to my therapist but I knew she wouldn't go. Well, she said she would go because she wants to tell her how I act and what she has to deal with. I think she sees me as her "problem", she said her life wasn't chaotic until she got with me.

I am in a bad space and I would welcome any input at all. Has anyone else been there in a similar situation?

Thanks,
RainbowFaerie