I think my mother was, too. She self-medicated with alcohol, cigarettes, prescription drugs, and food, but I still came home from school every day not knowing which mother would greet me. And then I went and passed that down to my own kids, having NO idea whatsoever that I was BP until they were all grown.....I'm so blessed that they've forgiven me, and I'm grateful that they remember all the fun we used to have during my manic episodes!