Hi all,

Last time I posted here, I knew I needed to quit, but I had not done so. On Thursday, I said to myself, "this is the day." I can't tell you why that was the day. Actually, I was in Walgreens and picked up a Beenie Baby (a pink monkey). I'm not a Beenie Baby person, but I just picked it up and thought, "I'm not going to drink tonight, and this little guy is going to be my good luck charm." I really hope that doesn't sound dumb. He's been in my purse the whole time since then.

I didn't drink that night, and didn't want to. But the next morning my boyfriend's blood sugar dropped, and I could not get him to let me check it or give him any apple juice, so I had to call the rescue squad. All turned out well, but that night, I REALLY wanted a drink. It was hard, but I just kept telling myself to keep going, and I would go pick up my Beenie Baby. I visited my mother on Saturday night, and since she doesn't allow alcohol in the house, I didn't feel tempted.

Last night was a doozy. We went out to dinner and I was fine. But when we came home, we found that our dog had eaten mouse poison and had to be rushed to the emergency vet. Luckily they were able to get him to throw up and eat charcoal, and he is now on treatment. We think he is going to be OK.

On the way home, a voice clear as day in my head said, "you need to get drunk. And it's OK. You've been through enough. It's OK to get drunk." And I just calmly said to myself, "no. You need to keep going. On a normal Sunday night, you would have gone out and gotten hammered after dinner. You would have stayed away for hours, and by the time you had gotten home, it probably would have been too late, and you would have been too drunk to drive to the emergency vet -- if you'd even realized what was happening. You need to keep going."

So, here I am. I'm a bit wobbly and jittery this morning. My Beenie Baby is sitting here at work looking at me. But I feel like I'm holding it together. I'm not going to drink tonight. Thanks for reading.

Caliope