whooooooobaby, i have found a new friend who is so similar to me in so many ways we kinda are needing to define differences so we don't feel clonish......

given my recent major integration, i am entering this friendship with a kind of blank slate. it feels like i may actually be well enough to not fall into old unproductive habitual short outed patterns and i am shaking in my booties.

Trust issues big time. breaking in a new friend is usually a case of saying who i am and them trying to find words to explain it to somebody who hasn't got a clue about mental illness....... not the case this time. she's a looney tune fruit loop too. She understands perfectly.

Gang, i have never been here before. i am determined to be my wholest selfves. she's even had a DID roommate before so she didn't even blink over that one!!! can you believe it?????

plus, her body is not shot and she can help me, be my arms..... i give her a reason to get out of the house...... there is a balance of needs...... i am astounded. i have got what i asked for. no games, manipulation, planning. made a list, sent it into the ether as "needing a miracle thank you", and let it go. now, holy cow, i got it and have to integrate that one.

I'm very practiced at integrating poopoo, I have very little experience at this good stuff. Trust. Oh geez.