Yes.. you will get over this.. you will heal.. the memories are fresh and painful.. and I understand your confusion of how could you possibly NOT remember this...

Out minds and bodies are amazing things.. giving us whatever coping tools we need to survive some of the most horrific things... blocking it out is one tool.. drug addiction and yout eating disorder are both tools you found to get you through it.. but neither is useful anymore... neither is blocking...

Once the memories start it means you are ready for healing... and healing takes hard work... it can be painful because in blocking out the abuse, you never FELT the emotions of being abused... and you are now beginning to FEEL.. instead of numbing...

Stay with it.. you are already a survivor and you can get through this tough part.. coming out on the other side of this pain you will find peace and even joy...trust me.. I am getting there too.. you are not alone in this journey..