
Apr 01, 2013, 05:18 PM
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Member Since: Aug 2009
Location: The Abyss
Posts: 2,692
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Quote:
Originally Posted by just_some_girl
I seem to be at a stage in therapy where the 'inner child' keeps coming out and wreaking havoc, having tantrums... My therapist tells me I need to 'accept her' and 'love her', and I'm trying, but it's not made easier when I feel like 'she' is sabotaging my therapy with her demands, neediness, and aggression.
I never thought I'd be in therapy, going along with this concept, but it feels very real, like through the therapeutic process we have been uncovering this 'true self', the 'wounded child', hiding behind all the defenses, that never grew up or learned to deal with her emotions. I guess different modes of therapy may have different ideas about what this is, a 'child part' or a different 'self state'... I feel like this a different 'mode' I go into, get triggered into, typically when with my therapist. I do have various issues with dissociation, but I wouldn't say this is an 'alter' to the extent of DID, as I remain aware of what's going on.
I feel it's important for this 'child' to be 'reparented', that she feel safe and accepted so that she/I can heal and grow.
There is mother/daughter transference in my relationship with my therapist, and it feels healing when she is able to meet those early needs - with a hug, for instance. I feel that safe touch like that is an important part of my therapy, helping me to bond and trust and feel on an emotional level - I'm typically a person 'stuck in my head', in rationality, never being able to 'let people in'...
So, inside of therapy I have my hugs, and at home I have got a cuddly toy to pacify my inner child at bedtime. What else can I do, and what else can I get my therapist to do, to help?
I have tried to use drawing and writing, but this hasn't been successful as of this time, maybe because the 'child' is at a preverbal stage?
I wondered if anyone could share ideas, or things that they have found to help nurture their inner child/child part/child alter/'little'? Things the therapist did that helped? I know the idea is to learn to reparent and soothe ourselves, but at this stage I feel I need my T to model being the healthy 'parent'..? I may have this backwards, but I feel like I need to feel like my T accepts her, so that I can too. My T assures me she DOES accept my inner child, but I feel like the child needs demonstrations of this.. ?
Any suggestions or sharing of experiences welcomed 
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(((JSG))))
I think I wrote this post, it sounds almost EXACTLY like what is going on with me. In my opinion, you are spot on that your T needs to model how to care for your child part while in session. My T actually talked to this part of me, and this part of me responded, although it was just a feeling. When I first started with this T, I had trouble with his no call policy unless it was an emergency, and that part of me flooded with me to a point that I couldn't really think straight, and I basically just reacted. So, thinking about a solution, I asked about twice a week, and he agreed. A few weeks later, I decided to go to two weeks/one session then the third week/two sessions. This seems to be okay with my child part as I felt no upheaval. I think your task (and mine) is to figure out what your child part needs, and if she is flooding you with emotions, that's a good indication that she doesn't like whatever is going on. My T has been open to my suggestions, and I have assured him that I don't plan on using this just to see him more often. I am honest with him and tell him what is going on with that part of me. For example, I thought about going three weeks with only one session per week, and waiting until the fourth week to go two, and I FELT that part of me threaten to overwhelm me with emotion. It wasn't in favor. So, maybe it just needs time? IDK. I feel for you, and totally understand what you are going through. PM me if you ever feel the need or if you just want to chat  Keep us posted!
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"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." Edgar Allan Poe
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