Thanks so much Gen. My mom would come if she could but she's across the country and we can't afford the airfare right now. But I'm trying to think good thoughts, and yes there is some magic happening with biz. Something really good might happen, just had a call. I am for some reason feeling a little paranoid with all this anxiety, like if I talk about this potential huge blessing in the works too soon, I will jinx it and it won't happen... so I'm just giving it up to God and universe, praying for blessings, and understand the blessings may come in form I don't understand or expect but faith that I will get through it. And I'm afraid to get my hopes up because I want to be well prepared for the worst that may come.... I don't know, I suppose I feel it's out of my hands because I've worked very hard and prepared all the necessary financials and plans. Apparantly there are some people who believe in us and want to invest. (omg omg excited, fingers crossed, yes please please please work!! thank you thank you!!) I am so freaking scared for my life though, but trying to think kind and grateful thoughts. I deserve wonderful blessings and miracles right? We all do. I'm trying to learn to believe in myself too that I am worthy of good things. It's either going to work out or it's not, but then somehow it will work out in the long run. My sister is being wonderful and calming me down, reminding me about prayers and telling me that me getting a healthy calm mind is the most important thing, even if we lose everything we both know we've tried our best, and will somehow find peace with it if that's what comes. My involvement here has really helped teach me how to be more supportive with her (she has a bp dx as well) and just stop and listen when she needs, we're avoiding arguments and being supportive of each other, complete 180 from where we were.
Thanks