i cant relate with the whole memory shut down when u try to open up...but i can relate to the constant arguing in the head thing!
it doesnt matter how hard you try to stay positive they constantly shut you down like ur worth nothing...ur purely an ant to them, they're the human. all i can say is that it gets very tiering. Especially when they talk crap about ur family and there is nothing really u can do but tell them to shut up, which doesn't always work. I'm sorry i dont have anything useful to tell u...all i can say is i relate...still trying to come to terms with things myself. Its very hard to put up with the constant chatter going on.
If i find anything useful to say i shall let u know hah
Good luck to u!