From Days of Healing, Days of Joy - A Hazelden book

"If a child lives with approval, he learns to live with himself"...Dorothy Law Nolte

It has been said and proven over and over that a person's self-image is largely formed by the image reflected back from other people. Those around us are mirrors. The more important they are to us, the more power they have to reflect our identity back to us. Thus, the world is largely in the process of being created daily before our own eyes.

We are the most important people in the world to our children. Their identity, as we reflect it back to them is the first and the most important information they receive.

Despite the powerlessness we may feel, let us also be aware of the enormous power we have in creating the self-image of our children. If we doubt this, all we need to do is recall the influence our parents had upon us in forming our self-image. We have the same power over our children. As we were influenced then, so we influence now. A miracle is happening before our eyes if we but see it.
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I will lose no opportunity to show my children how beautiful they are.

When I think of all the influence we have over our children -- both good AND bad -- it scares me. Both my children are grown now, and one became an alcoholic and one did not. Thankfully the one is in recovery now, after having come close to death from drinking. When I think of how his father and I influenced him about alcohol, it breaks my heart. But I also look at this same son, and he has a heart as good as gold, and he'd help anyone at any time. He's probably the nicest and most polite man I've known (even tho he is my son ) My daughter is the same way. So we DO influence them immensely!! A saying I've heard is true: "Children learn what they live." And later they "live what they learned."
We have a huge opportunity and responsibility with our children!