Hi there, i joined this forum a little while ago for many reasons, one of them is that i believe many of my problems stem from being raped. Regarding the issue you are having i too am struggling with sexual issues, too many to mention. I am terribly sorry to hear of your difficulties, and dont know if i can help you at all except just to listen and share my feelings and what i have come to learn in therapy. The rape/abuse i experienced occured from the age of 15-17 from an older married man who shaped my entire outlook i think on men/relationships. My husband and i have been married for 2 years but been together for 13 years. In the beginning of our relationship when we were dating i would say our sex life was normal but i was about 21 years old, our relationship however was filled with drama, jealousy and arguments all from my side. He in turn became rebellious and cold which made my attraction to him all the the more apparent, thus making me more attracted to him sexually. When i turned about 26 i became very cold sexually and never even responded to him at all, i had no sexual desire watsover. He was angry and didnt understand what was happening. We are now married, although my sex drive is back, it is not for him. I am attracted to only pornography, illicit sex with married men and strangers although i never acted out i get involved with these men on the internet, which doesnt help with my marriage and what im trying to achieve..I am sorry if this hasnt helped you but just wanted to try to assist if i could...