I'm sorry you are not doing very well right now! It sounds like you are really struggling.

I must say I think it's great that you can at least see that you are experiencing some very black and white thinking. That shows an awesome level of self-awareness.

I know you probably already know this, but you WILL get better and you WILL be loved. It might take a while to get better, and you might never be completely cured, but things do get better. And I bet you there are probably some people who love you right now, even though you can't see it.

Do you have anyone you can talk to about this difficult time you are having?