Lots of people here will know way more than me about legal stuff, so I'll leave that to the experts. As for workplace stuff, I am very luckily to have a permissive schedule, and my most recent bosses have had very progressive views on mental health care. One I never told about it, but I knew if I ever felt I had to it would be ok; the other is actually a psychiatrist, and I did tell him because of a horrible termination that was so stressful it was showing in my demeanor at work, and boss-man was worried.

But what your boss said in the e-mail really hit me too, because it's something that would really hurt me. I'm just going to describe how I'd feel and why, and maybe something useful will pop out.

I try SO HARD not to be too much trouble for other people. It's a pathological thing. I cannot bear the idea of being too much trouble. I feel massively guilty if anyone has to make any type of concession, even a harmless one. So phrases like this are like kryptonite for me. I'd rather be punched in the face.

My mom used to say stuff like this to me all the time, and never let me forget how much she was sacrificing or how much I was putting her out. Good news, I didn't wind up spoiled or ungrateful. Bad news is that it went too far, and I had no good idea of how much was too much to ask and how much was reasonable, which is actually a really important skill in the real world.

I wonder if you had a similar sort of thing going on with you.

Anyway, like with my mom, I expect this reveals a lot about your boss. My mom would get most angry about the things that she had to go out of her way for that SHE wanted and felt guilty about -- and indeed at the same time would sometimes do extraordinary mom things without complaining a peep. I don't know about your boss and therapy, but she probably has some similar negative prejudice toward it. I know you probably know in your head that it's not right for her to have this bias, but that doesn't really make it not hurt or feel extremely upsetting and uncomfortable.

I've also been lucky to have a T who works really hard to meet with me at times that will cause me minimal trouble. It doesn't always work out, but it can. I'm sure you've talked to T about this, but is there any compromise to be made on that end?