RAUUURGH! I want to not me so depressed right now, is that too much to freaking ask?!?! I want to be able to actually finish this semester like everyone else and not have to go back and finish everything up the beginning of next semester (again)!

My meds are sure as hell not helping me in the slightest. I was ready to accept that I would just be more likely to be really hyper and manic if that meant I wasn't gonna have horrible depression dips! Now I just wanna quit taking them because this whole mess is just utter BS!

I don't want to have to go back to the hospital down here and have to go through the whole strip search and not get to have any visitors ever. I can't do that again! They're gonna send me to long-term since I've already been once before and I can't get locked up in the middle of nowhere with no family to help me.

The GD appetite from hell is back again but I just don't want to eat any more than normal! I keep having urges to binge again and it's getting harder and harder to resist that and a stream of other self-destructive urges.