Hey, and welcome to the forum.

Sorry to hear about the situation you're in, sounds dreadful. Nobody can really tell you what to do, as the choice is ultimately yours, but I do get the impression that you've had enough and want to get out. You know what? I don't blame you.

If you do, then perhaps you can start a plan. Put some of your money aside (secretly), look for somewhere to rent with your kids. If you have a good friend or family, please talk to them and enlist their help, or just a friendly ear. Even if you do not go for a while, the savings will make you feel better, and ready to go if and when you want.

I do hope you make the right decision for you and your children. I do think tho, that its as rare as rocking horse poo that a situation like this gets better if you stay with him. Time and time again the mental/physical abuse gets worse.

And please don't feel like any of this is your fault. Your feelings of not being good enough are typical of someone who is being abused. The abuser wears someone down until there is little of that person left, and just an empty shell remains. Again, this is typical of this kind of senario. As you've said, he's not going to change, so it has to be you that's the strong one and does the changing, getting stronger, and make plans to leave if you can't bear it anymore.

Big hugs and good luck