You still feel that you can never reach second base in a friendship or even have one. You are only surviving and relating to people only when absolutely necessary. You still have no priviledge to someone's personal space (email, home, phone, text, etc.) and even when you do get that priviledge, you are sure you are going to lose it again.

I think I too lost a friend. IRL. After I worked very hard to get it back. BPD is so baffling.