I think I know what you are feeling. I don't know what to do with myself. I know what I'm supposed to do but don't have the desire to do it. I have a therapist that is good. But after I leave her office and think to myself why do I continue to go back. I'm not sure she understands me. She and the group of doctors she works with diagnosed me as having BPD after I was already diagnosed with bipolar. I'm at a point, like you, where I feel like I'm falling out of control and, like you, I feel like I want to try and save myself from hurting myself by checking myself into a psych hospital. I want to know how the hospital thing works. Maybe it could be a new start for us. Let's keep in touch.