I'm sorry that you are feeling screwed up. I can really sympathize with you. I feel screwed in my head too. Just continue to think of your beautiful kids and husband. If you can't seem to move forward for yourself, do it for them. You have a lot to live for. I'm not talking about physical living but also emotionally living. You have to start from the ground up. Decide that you really want to but your energies and efforts into getting better. Yes, therapy and meds may be a good start. It will be a long road ahead but I have a feeling that your family will be a good support system if you let them help. Of course, the kids can't help emotionally but they will understand that you are sick and are working to get better. Good luck.