when i was 15, i had this same want. i did a lot of journaling about it, and i realized that it was because i wanted to give my child the childhood that i didn't have. it was sort of my last ditch attempt to get around what i was working on in therapy... if i can't fix my own childhood then why not start over with someone else. you know? that sounds crazy... but once i realized that, i realized that i didn't really want a baby. i just wanted to redo my own childhood because it was less than ideal. which obviously cant happen. this was a big realization and gave me a spring board to go off of in therapy