I feel pretty much the same as you...although I'm 24 and a girl. But knowing that most people my age (or younger) are married really bothers me and it only gets worse the older I get.

The thought of being alone the rest of my life plagues me constantly and I wish I could just die, but I'm not brave enough to kill myself. But I still self-harm. Why not? It's not like anyone is ever going to see them or really care that I do that to myself (at least not in real life).

And what really really REALLY burns me (and this may be different from your situation) is that I'm considered very attractive, except I guess I'm not quite skinny enough. Apparently size 12/13 is still considered fat. But apparently I have a pretty face and I have an interesting/fun but eccentric personality. I'm not overly social, but I can interact with other people if given the opportunity and I doubt many people even realize I'm shy. But I can't connect with people. And even if I do, I never see them after class. And it's not like I can even tell someone that I'm interested in them or like them anymore anyway because the last person I mentioned it to got mad and terrorized me to the point that I had to take anti-psychotics to reach any form of normalcy again. And it doesn't matter if that was a supposed "isolated incident", it doesn't matter. I can't do that again. I almost killed myself and I was so terrified for weeks...if it happens again, I don't know if I can survive it again. And I believe it will happen again. I'll experience it again regardless, so it doesn't matter.

I'm interested in someone now...we get along great. Everyone says I'm really pretty. But I'm still going to die alone, a virgin.

And more on that, I need the emotional intimacy more than sex. I'm terrified to have sex anyway. But I still have a sex drive, which is starting to get higher. Which is horrible. I hate feeling like I have these animalistic drives that there's nothing I can do about. It's distracting. Very distracting.

Anyway, I don't have answers unfortunately, but I feel pretty much the same as you do.