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ultramar · Apr 02, 2013, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

I suspect the feelings of shame and embarassment are yours; but having said that, I'm amazed that your boss knows the nature of your med appointments. I would never have revealed such info in the workplace, partly out of my own shame, but also because no matter what official policies are, there's always a price to pay.

I do think her accommodations for family, etc, reveal her own bias against other reasons for absence.

But I don't understand how it's possible to schedule appts for lunch-time if there's no predictable time period for lunch? I also find it difficult to understand why there isn't a set lunch time, even if it means rotating staff.

I've just never worked in such an environment. I generally saw my T in the evening or on Sat AM, but he had those hours because his private practice was in addition to a Univ position.

Does your work-place HR office have stated policies about this? Or is the problem that you're management and exempt? If so, there needs to be a conversation because there needs to be a balance between responsibility and flexibility. If your boss is acting out a preferential bias among "worthy" reasons, that needs to be addressed. I don't envy you that situation!

Thanks Feralkitty.

My boss knows about the therapy because of all of the drama around me changing my schedule to accommodate my earlier therapy time. My schedule at the time was 9-5:30 and I asked for it to be changed to 7-3:30 (we open at 7) just on Wednesdays. This was the only way I could continue to see my therapist, because his hours at the hospital clinic changed and are very limited -he has a private practice with a much fuller schedule but I don't think he takes insurance there.

I ended up having to reveal the reason why I needed the change because my boss asked and because she really didn't want to do this. I told her because I figured that it being 'medical' it would be the only way I could get it. The initial answer was no, so I told her more (therapist changed schedule, I can't do therapy in the middle of the day), she asked why I couldn't and I tried to explain why (she clearly didn't 'get' it though). So it all came out. It just really got me because I could write a page on all of the weird schedules staff have, she's actually exceptionally flexible when it comes to schedules, but hasn't been for me -then, or since then. (I don't think it's about me personally at all, it's about the reasons, and I know it's a pain in the butt for her).

For the record, and as you might guess about me, I hated revealing all of that to her (and she was in contact with her boss about it). But it was just the only way.

I could fill a whole page on other peoples' bizarre schedule due to school (and to a lesser extent family), but I'll spare you guys -you'll have to take my word for it.

What I do in healthcare is very unique, so I feel like if I reveal it I'll potentially really 'out' myself here. But no, we don't have set lunches, we in theory get lunch more or less according to our schedules, but it really depends. We often cannot predict patient need and, for example, I wouldn't normally just leave a patient encounter for lunch, I'd finish it, then go to lunch. Having to have a set time for lunch because of an appt means that I can't see the next patient in need if it's going to take too long/interfere with when I need to leave for the appt.

I have at times considered going to the EAP about this and asking them -it's for counseling, but they may well have useful information about my rights. I'm not comfortable going to our HR rep (for various reasons) about this -unless there is some really obvious, provable bias.

I'm so uber responsible about my appts, as I mentioned before, and I know from my old job that most staff are not so much. It really gets to me. Maybe I'll go to the EAP, not to challenge her on these things, but just to get a better idea of my rights/for my own peace of mind, because as it is I end up feeling guilty about my appts (which is partly my stuff).