|
I try SO HARD not to be too much trouble for other people. It's a pathological thing. I cannot bear the idea of being too much trouble. I feel massively guilty if anyone has to make any type of concession, even a harmless one.
This is me to a t! Thanks so much for sharing this, makes me feel less alone with it. Yes, I've talked about this in therapy, but I see I need to talk more about it, deal with it. And funnily enough, your mother sounds like mine -basic needs were often a massive inconvenience and, yes, she would get furious about these needs. I had actually never made this connection -thank you.
Actually, the therapy appt/schedule change has been a done deal for some time now, I have the new schedule. It's just that the other appts continue (Pdoc, pain center once a month, a couple of times a year at gyn for a chronic issue there). She's occasionally given me push-back about these, and it only takes a little to make me feel hugely guilty, etc. The therapy schedule change, although a done deal, I think just still kind of sticks in her craw (sp?) basically piles on to on-going appts.
As I write this, it sounds like I have appts right and left, but I actually don't. A big part of this is how our department works, that despite the fact that I do them during lunch affects operations. Although in reality it doesn't affect it that much. Well, ugh.
|