I live alone, so there is no one to help me clean or look at me with total disgust when it gets really bad.

When my son was still here (moved out 2 months ago), he got to the point where he had his own room spotless and only spent time in his room. He came out to get food, but would go right back to his room. The last 2 years he lived here, he did not come sit in the living room with me to talk or watch a movie or eat a meal like he did the rest of his life.

If I know in advance that someone is coming over, it's sheer panic.

If someone knocks on the door, I come outside to talk to them. I do not invite anyone in.

It's a very small house, but if I were to decide to work (without stopping) on nothing but cleaning the house until it was to the point of being presentable, I would be here for days doing nothing but cleaning.

I laugh when people tell me it takes them "four hours" or whatever to clean their house. A friend recently told me her two-story house took her four hours to clean, as if that's a really long time.

I'm thinking, "Try days or weeks of cleaning, and even then not having it look presentable."

Not presentable here because I've lived in this house for a VERY long time, but never have hung anything on the walls or painted or done any of that type of thing to make it feel like a home.