Hi there.

It sounds to me this is based off of what you went through in the past (which do allow me to say, I am sorry this ever happened to you ). The responses people have to trauma are as varied as the people themselves, but sometimes, in my own casual observations here, sometimes people try to "normalize" what they went through by recreating it later on in life, to varying degrees. Unfortunately, your abuse was how you were introduced to sexuality. This can cause unusual sexual behavior later in life. I'd wager this is what you're experiencing.

Have you ever sought a therapist? They can help you work through what you went through, and help reduce the urge to continue doing this. It can only help.

I hope I was of some help. Know you're in my prayers, and I wish you all of the best.

Hugs,
Harley

PS: Did not know that about Australian wool...lol I'll need to keep that in mind if I ever upgrade my pea coat.