Quote:
Originally Posted by ultramar
I think shopping sprees (or the desire to do so) have become so closely associated with mania, even in society in general, that sometimes we need to remind ourselves that all kinds of people go on shopping sprees for any number of reasons (including, I suspect, people with Bipolar Disorder, but not in the midst of an episode). Maybe one of several ways to try to figure out if you're in an episode is to think about if there's any particular reason, internal/specific to you, that you want to do the shopping, Craig's List, etc., aside from the desire just coming out of nowhere. I think shopping can be a way to self-soothe when we're feeling depressed or just really crappy.
Regardless, you're obviously struggling a lot. I was happy/encouraged to read about how much you've improved, the strides you've taken over the years -congratulations! I'll hope for you that this is a 'blip' (albeit a very painful one) and you will get back on the road forward you had been on before. Best of luck!
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Hi Ultramar,
The main reason that I think it may be a problem is because my husband knows the patterns that I get into, and if I do actually spend the money, and when I used to, we seriously talked about him taking away my debit and credit cards.
I've never spent a huge amount of money at a time. But I think you're right, ever since our cat passed away I feel a lot of loneliness and emptiness. Not only am I looking for free stuff online, but I also look at the pet section and get myself really worked up, because I have so much love to give and its better for me, personally, to give it to an animal and I find it so rewarding. I cuddled a lot with our cat, he slept next to me 98% of the time and even let me hold him like a teddy bear. I've been unemployed these last 2 weeks and I think that's opened my mind to thinking a lot.
Being home alone all day made me realize how much I counted on our cat as a companion. My husband isn't healing from it nearly as fast as I am.
Thanks so much for getting me to see my urges in another way. I really appreciate it. And thanks so much for recognizing all of the progress I've made. It took a lot of time and effort and I do feel like I've accomplished something.