I feel all the worse because I have a close friend who is in treatment for an eating disorder and I've been trying to cheer her up and convince her to not worry about food and weight but here I am obsessing over it myself! I don't want to hurt her or make her worry, but at the same time I don't know who else to turn to. I'm don't really feel like I've gotten much specific support for that here, though everyone seems really nice (I do appreciate that), but at this point I don't even know if I really ant help with that. It's become my preferred self-punishment and I don't know if I want to give it up. That's a big reason II flipped out about my T reading my journal as-is