I feel your pain , I have 4 kids myself. My advice is this .
First ,this has alot to do with puberty I am sure . Girls start this jouney much younger than most of us did , for some reason . Second she is testing your limits , a normal right of passage . Remember though that she is looking for her boundries . Are you going to set them ? She needs your strength and guidence now more than ever . We all remember how confusing and painfull puberty was . Give her guidlines and be sure about it . As My self said she needs to learn the consequnces of her actions . You can not trust her if she lies . If you can not trust her then her freedom will be limited until she earns that trust back .
Finaly , You are not bringing this on yourself . Your post descibred a very loving and respectfull inviroment . I am sure your child loves you . After all you went through as a child you still love your parents the best you can , and none of what you went through is being repeated in your house .
I think it is very healthy for a child to look to her parents for guidence and this is what is going on . I think your concern is even healthier for a caring Mother .
Dont doubt yourself , It may be that she choses you over her father because she senses your doubt and her behavior works better on you than her father.
Take care and give yourself more credit , sounds like you do your best to raise your child with love and respect .

Take care and best wishes,
Sher