okies.. well i guess this is the best place to start.. i'll just come out and say it.. I am very isolated.. I dont talk much except for a hand full of people i trust and care for.. I dont trust anyone. I have a very hard time trusting anyone due to issues with my childhood. because of that. I dont have many friends.

What "friends" i did have dont talk to me.. and when they do on facebook or texting.. its really superficial.. noting indepth or things that real friends do.. and im finally getting to where i cant take it anymore. this week end I sat bawling most of the time because I have no one. I dont want a romantic relationship. I am not looking for that.. I just want some friends.. who wont judge me or make fun of me.. or call me names..

Friends to go out and cruise around town with and look around.. not go out and get drunk or get high or anything stupid.. maybe go have a drink of pop or have a burger or something .. go look at the ducks in the park.. instead of going with the people from area mental health to do it..

i feel so alone.. the only people who are around me publicly are people who are paid to help me get around.. and help me get out of my wheelchair.. help me pay bills.. or help me do physical therapy.. I am sooo sick of it.. i just some times i just lay in bed.. i dont even want to get on my computer.. and my life is my computer.. I dont know what else i can do..