I've had to do this alone for years because of horrible experiences in the health system.
Iwas dxed with Schizoaffective bipolar which I'm positive is a misdiagnoses (that's another story tho) But anyway, outside of my normal paranoid ideas I have these.. " mini episodes" where I kind of lose touch with myself in reality and I don't know who I am. I mean literally... I panic because I think I might be someone else. I know it sounds completely stupid but idk what it is. I'll think I might possibly be someone in a tv show or a movie or book, sometimes I think I'm a friend or even a man and that especially causes me to panic. I try to tell myself it's not that way and I am ME but then I think who am I? I have to ask people to tell me what my name is or desperately reach out to someone just so I know for sure. When I look in the mirror I have no connection with the person that I see. I mean I really feel dead like I am a ghost like I am in purgatory to suffer for ever. I really am convinced sometimes that I am actually dead.
This happened to me just the other day for a couple hours and I realized maybe this isn't a normal psychosis because I don't feel delusional, I just feel completely empty and I have no connection with myself in reality. If that makes sense. It's like I'm dissociating from myself to the point I don't even know for sure who or what or where I am and I become scared. Everything is just empty information when I'm in these episodes. It's like I have no feed back and I'm grasping at straws.

Idk what this is. maybe i am dissociating maybe i am just psychotic idk.
I just want someone to talk to me about this that might know what it is like.