|
Apr 04, 2013, 12:40 PM
|
|
|
Hi Glass... (I hope you don't mind me shortening your name  )
Quote:
|
My Smart, Stubborn, Challenging ADHD Daughter
|
That was a perfect way to describe the ADD daughter
A quick history before I take a stab at this post.
I had a surprise ADD diagnosis about 4 years ago when I was 43. I slipped through the cracks because I was not hyper and developed some pretty good coping skills. After my diagnosis I began reading some ADD books and started posting on ADD websites.
Knowledge about ADD is critical to understanding the ADD behaviors
Many behaviors look angry, defiant and completely illogical and are really based on embarrassment, sadness and complete exhaustion.
The ADD brain is like a race car with bad brakes. (From "Driven to Distraction") We go at full speed until we are exhausted fairly early in the day, then many of our odd behaviors are attemtps to literally stay awake. Moving around, fidgeting, snacking on carb/sugar item, making noises, talking and a key one for many ADDer's is being combative. These things wake you up. They help your brain produce the dopamine that is so inconsistently produced in our heads.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glass is Half Full
I am hoping for some helpful, honest feedback from others who have kids...but especially daughters with ADHD. Seems it is more difficult in our society for a girl who is hyperactive than a " good 'ol rough and tumble" boy.
My husband and I are really struggling right now with our 8-yr old daughter. She is smart as a whip, so that is one blessing that we're at least not struggling with school work and grades, but she is like a tornado of energy and defiance.... Like a combination of a fit-throwing toddler (morning meltdowns and evening screeching, arguing, complaining....basically extreme emotion a good bit of the time) and an attitude-y teen all packaged in this talented but frustrating second grader. She can be wonderful and happy sometimes, so I see glimpses of hope..cooperation...compassion...patience....respect....but more often than not we're getting after her for something or other and she's pushing back and displaying a defiant or upset emotion.
|
I have two daughters (15 and 11) my 15 year old was diagnosed with ADD about a year ago and takes Vyvanse (60mg per day) and is doing extremely well. She caught me by surprise (I can spot an ADDer a mile away these days) because she was never hyper and was a straight "A" student until High School where she was pushed past her limits with AP Classes and Band.
My youngest will get diagnosed next Monday. We wanted to wait because she was young when I suspected she had ADD. ADD was a bit of a sore subject in my house for several years after my diagnosis. My wife did not really believe in ADD. It was more of an excuse disorder in her mind. My wife has come around after the changes in me and our 15 year old.
I started talking to my 11 year old about ADD when I would see behaviors that I remember. It really helped to explain why she was upset from a story of my own childhood. She did not feel alone in her thought process and I could explain ways to think through these situations. She really liked the one on one time too. I helped that I was not angry with her during the discussions. ADDer's feel attacked by angry responses from people, because most of the time we don't realize there is a problem. I did not see a problem until it was blowing up in my face. ADDer's usually don't read the facial expressions and body language that most people take for granted. You may notice that your daughter interupts or talks over people. It is hard for us to know when it is our turn and also we can feel like if I don't say something "Now" I'll forget and mess up "Again".
Poor Executive function is what we ADDer's have. No short term memory because of the short circuits in our brains. We don't forget on purpose, it is that our memory moves to long term too fast. Long term memory is like the Cliff's Notes version. So when we have to recall something there are holes in the memory that we have to "Fill in" and this is where we get into trouble. Big arguments over what was really said or what really happened. We think we are correct because it is our memory. We argue because we don't want to be wrong "Again". Low self esteem is huge in ADDer's. The longer you go before diagnosis the more damage is caused.
Quote:
|
She takes 15mg. Of Focalin XR and that makes a difference during the school day but evenings are a challenge, and we have sports and church activities to get through during much of the week.
|
Evenings are an issue with the XR medications. They are pretty much gone by late afternoon and the ADD symtoms start to come back. Some doctors will prescribe a suplemental small dose of a Short Acting stimulent like Adderal for the evening.
Quote:
Would really, really appreciate any thoughts, advice, anyone who has been there, done that and can give me some solid parenting advice. The "normal" strategies have limited success, and both my husband and I are in professions that deal with kids, discipline, and management. You'd think this ONE child wouldn't have us both at our wits' end, and on the verge of some serious anxiety.
Could really use some prayers, and some practical guidance please!!
|
If your daughter is like mine, she is near perfect to people at school and away from home and save all of the "Behavior/Attitude" for us
Understanding ADD is really the key to success here. Diet is important, trying to stay away from carb/sugars as much as possible. Exercise is HUGE for the ADDer because of the dopamine released by the brain during activities. I know I went on an ADD ramble, but I hope some of it made sense 
|