I'm with Sky about a relationship taking away from work with one's self, especially if it ended poorly the first time.

About the "mess" and being angry, I would give yourself a break/rest. Things get messy when living happens. You can't sleep in a made bed but whether it's made or not is not what is important in life, whether you're living is! You can clean up the mess tomorrow or next week, etc. Let there be a little mess, it's not what is important, you are!