Yes, I would get a therapist to work with on your anxiety. I have that kind of anxiety too.

It's not all knowing where the feeling "belongs." There are built-in intensities that we're born with. You could have just been born an anxious child and one's parents didn't know to do anything about it.

I think to a certain extent everyone gets anxious in the situations you describe! I know I get anxious when I feel anything is not "in control" and that covers all your situations. I use to hate when we'd have substitute teachers in class, even through high school, because no one would be "in charge" and I am always anxious when things are threatening to go out of control because no one is in charge. I can see being anxious when a child calls you repeatedly, you're anxious you won't be able to meet his/her needs, won't be "enough" to solve the problem.

One thing that helps me a bit is to ground myself with physical surroundings and remind myself that I'm okay. My first (and only :-) panic attack came when I was sitting outside my dorm in college, bright, sunny, fall day, just beautiful day, no homework/worries yet, etc. so when it hit it puzzled me so I was able to concentrate using my curiosity about why I was anxious with no reason. I think I disappointed the anxiety attack :-) But if you can grab a piece of furniture and feel the texture of the cloth covering it, think about how the rest of the world isn't feeling anxious but is going on like nothing's wrong, etc. thoughts and physical feelings like that comfort and calm me. If I'm inside by myself I go out and watch cars going by in the street, etc.

But I would get a therapist if I were you and look a little at various things in your childhood if you wanted, get some ideas as to why you might feel frightened specifically, if you think that would help. My mother was sick all my life and died when I was 3 and there was a couple years that were uncertain for my father, 3 older brothers and me. My stepmother "sorted" us out but she was very controlling and a bit abusive even so I kind of got layers of problems on problems. I've had a whole lot of therapy and I am not as anxious, don't startle or have sudden anxious states.