Quote:
Originally Posted by big zero
Tried talking again today... to no avail. He turned it on me, as usual. I asked him to please put his rubbish in the bin rather than leave it around. He replied by saying "But you do the same, how come it's OK when you do it?" He said I left an empty takeout box on the counter, which I admit to doing, but that only happened once. Still enough to invalidate my claims though, apparently.
So talking is out, it seems. As soon as I bring it up he reverts to brat mode: don't wanna talk about it, you do it too, you're not my mum, lemme alone.
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No, you're not his mum, you're a person who isn't being respected and taken seriously. You are not perfect, and you don't expect him to be perfect, but two sloppy incidents versus 20 or 200 is very significant. Orders of magnitude. His slob culture is more important than listening and respect? Never mind the mess itself; this I could not live with.
Most people suck at conflict resolution. If you read Marshall Rosenberg's stuff about communication and emotions and listening, you might gain some insight that would help. His website has a lot of free readings, so you don't have to hunt down a library book.