I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend, living together for about 19 years, and we stopped having sex about six years into the relationship. It was his choice, and I'm not completely sure why. He says he doesn't feel good about his body (he's gained a lot of weight over the years, although more recently, he's lost some). I've wondered if he's grown impotent, but while he has diabetes, that doesn't explain the earlier years.

Like you, intercourse is painful for me. I have been to many gynecologists and gotten several diagnoses, from yeast infections (but it still hurt even when they were cleared up), being shaped wrong, being too small (but others tell me I'm normal), and more. I've never been able to enjoy intercourse the way a woman should.

I also have OCD, so even though I was still willing to have sex with my boyfriend when he stopped asking, the OCD has gotten to where it's an issue now. Well, actually, I've improved in that regard, and could probably have sex, as long as it was in my bed. In any case, he's expressed no interest in having sex, although we joke a lot about sex and talk about it when it comes up in the news or whatever.