I do not know why you did the things you did. But you were young and young people do experimental and reckless things. Sadly sometimes these things have consequences, and now you are with a young child.

To be honest, I think your insecurity is down to your past, and down to the behaviour you, your boyfriend and your friends. If you all messed around with each other without caring, then you are bound to not trust any of them. You've learned this from each other and you know you are capable too.

Your boyfriend may be distant from you because he may feel trapped with a young child, when he's at school himself. I should imagine you feel the same. I am only guessing here, but it's how I would feel in your/his shoes. Have you ever sat down and talked in an open, honest manner, without yelling at each other or blaming each other? I wonder if that will help with both of you. Do you have support from your family, or his? I hope so. And can you afford some therapy together or alone? I think this may help you greatly and I think its very important now you've such a huge responsibility with a young child.

I do know that checking his phone and facebook is unfair. And you know what? If someone wants to leave you, or have an affair, there is nothing you can do to stop them - you do not control them. So checking everything is pointless, and all it will do is make you both feel awful. I would suggest honest, calm talking..